We all have some. Not all the same, some have more than others. We collect it, we accumulate it and we spend it or, to be more precise, most times, misspend it. This is our whole life. There is nothing else going on apart from that. We eat, drink, sleep, think, work, feel, fall in love (and out of it), raise children, take care of loved ones, keep a home going, aspire to become things, communicate, wait for others, have sex (well, some of us), get angry, go on holidays, meditate, do yoga, pray, travel, get sad, happy, listen to music, fall ill, sunbathe, disagree with others, support causes, have faith, believe in things, perceive ourselves in certain ways, you get the picture. All of these either give us energy or take it away, mostly depending on how we do them. Of course everybody knows that. Everybody knows too, at some level, which ones give us energy and which ones take it away. It does not mean we will do the energy-giving ones or in energy-giving ways, but we know them deep down. We do have egos that advise us to do the wrong, energy-devouring, thing, but even then we know it is wrong. We (our egos) create narratives to tell ourselves and others that this IS the right thing to be doing, but we know we are not being honest to ourselves. “I am a world expert in entomology” takes energy away. Not because I am not, I may very well be. But because I feel the need to say it or think it for some purpose. To prove something, usually that I am right or successful, or that I am following the right path, professionally or otherwise. On the other hand, “you are an expert in entomology” gives energy. It gives energy both to the speaker and the listener, assuming benevolent intentions. Someone recognises the qualities of another person, and maybe expresses their appreciation of them in some context. The intention gives energy to the speaker, for a unifying (good) purpose. This is especially valuable if the speaker too is an expert in entomology. The speaker also receives these thoughts and feelings in material form (just not visible material for the human spectrum) as energy. But there are many other cases applicable to those of us who do not study insects for a living.
A kind word gives energy both ways. A nice gesture of some sort, let’s say giving someone something to eat. Lovingly preparing it too of course takes this to a whole different level, but let’s stick to basics. You buy a sandwich for a hungry person on the street and you give it to them, and you say a nice word. The energy exchange is multi-level here too. You help someone and I assume here because you actually care, not because you got guilt-ridden, as is often the case. You give them energy, in invisible form as before, and also in the very tangible form of calories in the food. Someone falls in the street and you give them a hand to get up. Energy goes their way, and you actually spend some to help them, but your body created as much as needed. If you can’t help them yourself, you ask someone. It is the same principle. I know there are far too many hungry people out there, and far too many falling around us. But I also know that those who don’t help aren’t doing so because they’ve done it so much that they now have no energy to do it anymore. Those who don’t help are usually completely consumed with the dissemination of their own energy basically feeding several egos, as they have decided to care for other things.
My suit is great. I need to buy a better car, I can’t keep being seen in this old thing. How does my hair look? Why did Emily get promoted and not I? Why doesn’t Roger fancy me? I’ll be late again. I can’t focus. I need a holiday. I don’t think my parents really loved me. And at the same time, Derek at the desk next to me at work is suffering from depression and I had no idea until today when I overheard at the water-cooler. My friend is struggling with loneliness. I am very busy with work and family, I have no time to even pick up the phone and have a meaningful conversation. My boy/girlfriend hasn’t heard a kind word from me in years but hey, I don’t see my role as the one who says kind things. I am the one who “brings stability” (or whatever else we tell ourselves and/or others). And you know what, I do tell him/her nice things, (s)he just does not appreciate them. And it is not as if (s)he is saying nice things to me. Or doing nice things for that matter. I love her/him, of course I love her/him. What does that mean anyway? I have never seen my elderly neighbour have a visitor. But I am not the kind who talks to strangers. There is a great volunteer-based community project in my neighbourhood helping under-privileged children learn digital skills. Oh, but I don’t do these sort of things. Who knows what kind of people will be there. And also, I am soooooo busy doing all these other things that I am doing, that I really can’t do that. Honestly. If I describe my day to you you’ll see I am right. There is so much I have to do. These people who help in these projects, hat off to them, well done, I don’t know where they find the time and energy. I secretly think they are losers, but I won’t admit to that. The people I admire are out there making money, you know? You would if you could too. C’mon, everybody would do the same in my place.
And there goes all the energy. That’s why some have more than others. And there goes another day. And another life.