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Time to grump a bit. Among my other pet hates in modern communications, at the top or very near it is the written depiction of laughter, either abbreviated  (LOL, LMAO, etc) or …transcribed “hahahaha”, (“χαχαχαχα” in modern Greek). I assume that in Ancient Greek transcripts, marble or otherwise, the sculptor-author did away with such subtle communication details that they may have been ‘recording’. Now. I am not saying it is the end of the world. I am not even saying that it is even worse than writing in Greeklish, another of my communication-related pet-hates. You don’t think it is stupid? Really? It looks like this:

Nevertheless, writing that you are laughing is worse. Greeklish has its roots in laziness, or what linguists call “the principle of least effort” or people’s knowledge that they may make spelling mistakes and don’t want to reveal how bad they are at greek spelling. “LOL”ing is worse, mainly because it is contradictory. It can only indicate irony or stupidity and never actual laughter! It is mathematically sure that the moment that you write “LOL”, “hahahaha” and other intelligent comments, you are *not* laughing. When you are laughing, genuinely, you are doing nothing else. See relevant pictures:

Bored young man typing “LOL” after reading something mildly amusing?

man laughing so hard he has stopped everything else he is doing because he can’t stop “laughing out loud”?

So, really, what you are saying to your friend, boyfriend, cousin, random stranger you befriended because of cute profile picture, is that, as a matter of fact, you are doing the exact opposite of laughing, because what you are commenting upon actually isn’t funny enough. Not only that, but your instinctive response is not only *not* to laugh, but to articulate something boring, abbreviated and pretty much meaningless about it. The equivalent of it is this: During a video call, instead of stopping and honestly offering sympathy, telling your friend who has just told you his grandmother died that you are really sorry while you continue to put lipstick on (…especially true if you are a boy) or doing something else equally …respectful (see below)

– Yum, like, man, yum, I am really sorry, yum, for your loss, yum.

LOL?

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